How Curiosity Saved Me
How you can use curiosity to your advantage, beyond the obvious
When people ask about my strengths, I always start by describing my relentless curiosity.
I perceive it as one of my top personal traits.
Because it took me places.
And saved my sanity.
From professional challenges, through personal failures, to mental health, well-directed curiosity kept me afloat in many critical situations.
Often, I connected with new people, started new relationships or got opportunities only because I enthusiastically asked questions. I wanted to know more about that person, that industry, and that challenge, and most of the time, my counterpart appreciated my genuine interest.
My inquisitive mind wanted to try new activities, travel to places or explore unknown concepts and ideas. Some explorations redirected my journey and all led to personal growth.
However, curiosity can be beneficial beyond the obvious. Especially when we feel stuck, are at crossroads, or find ourselves in stressful situations. It keeps one active, and lucid.
Like the time when I had a difficult interview in a new industry that I didn't completely understand. So I just asked insightful questions. 45 mins out of one hour. And I made it through.
Or the time when I have been seated opposite a stranger on a social occasion. As an introvert, I felt awkward. But my questions eventually opened a box of common interests. We ended up dating.
The outcomes of my conversations are based on a simple fact backed by psychological research. My sincere interest invites the other person to speak.
Talking about ourselves triggers pleasurable feelings and motivational states associated with stimuli such as sex, cocaine, and good food.
But I tapped into the true potential of my desire to know that saved my sanity during my toughest personal challenges.
It was the time when everything started collapsing. My professional and personal life that I built abroad got a hit in its foundations. It all seemed out of control.
At some point, I started asking myself “What am I supposed to learn from this?”
The answer wasn't that important.
But the question elicited a change of mindset that was crucial.
I stopped feeling sorry for myself and reframed the situation as a challenge that was placed in front of me to learn and grow.
Similar to what Dr Viktor Frankl describes in his book Man's Search For Meaning.
Frankl survived several Nazi concentration camps thanks to his change of mindset. As a psychiatrist, he found meaning in taking up a scientific approach to his life instances.
The image of him giving a lecture on the psychology of the concentration camp after the war is over became the driver of his motivation to survive. By this method, he succeeded in raising above the terrible situation he was put in.
Frankl observed that at the instance when his troubles became the object of an interesting psycho-scientific study undertaken by himself, the sufferings of the moment were already in the past.
Well-directed intellectual curiosity can save us.
And help us to see the most terrifying situations in a new light.
Here are some of the questions that I ask myself in difficult moments:
What can I learn from this situation?
What can this person teach me?
How can I look at this from a different perspective?
What possibilities I haven’t explored yet?
If this is over, how do I imagine I've overcome this?
What is this emotion telling me?
Why am I here?
Maybe next time when you are stuck in a difficult moment put your scientific hat on. And wait what happens…
Stay curious, the world and your mind are full of hidden treasures.
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Adela <3