It All Starts with Acceptance
When the 'mere' acceptance is the biggest progress you can make
It was a lightbulb moment.
I was explaining to my coach how I struggle with portraying the benefits of my diverse experience to potential employers and clients. My mind was like a stormy ocean. No clarity due to too many waves.
During job interviews, I usually start with a description of four years of my product management experience. Ignoring the other six years when I worked in other areas. Like they didn't happen.
Subconsciously devaluating worthful years of knowledge and skills as if they don't bring any value. Assuming that others wouldn't be able to see their potential.
Then I suddenly saw my real problem.
The problem wasn't with how other people perceived me, but how I perceived myself!
All the while, I wasn't truly embracing my diverse experiences, interests, passions, knowledge and skills that came with it. Despite understanding that these are my strengths, in reality, I acted as if they were my weaknesses. Hiding them in a closet. Diminishing their value.
If I'm not acknowledging it in front of myself, how others could?
I realised that sometimes all it takes to get unstuck is:
'Simply’ accepting reality as it is.
And this is true in other areas as well.
The concept of acceptance in psychology is defined as “taking a stance of non-judgmental awareness and actively embracing the experience of thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations as they occur”.
‘Non-judgmental awareness’ and ‘embracing the experience’ are the key concepts.
Without true acceptance of our reality that is non-judgmental, we are missing the starting point for progress.
When we feel hurt or struggle, we can step towards healing only after accepting how we feel. Or when we don't like our condition, we can start building a path towards a solution only after accepting where we presently are.
Non-judgmentally embracing the facts. Instead of fighting them or denying them.
Only then can we start to heal, modify our circumstances or improve our behaviour. Or simply acknowledge that we are okay with how things are and we don't want to change them.
Once I truly embraced that I was a generalist, my body filled with relief.
Only then I was ready to express myself to others. With authenticity and confidence.
Sometimes the biggest progress we can make is 'just' starting to accept.
So the stormy ocean in our mind calms down.
Wishing you a lot of openness and self-compassion while you start embracing what is.
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Adela <3
Hi Adela, what a beautiful and heart-felt share. It reminded me of my own journey to recognize the areas or moment where I play small or hide my light. I've seen little steps of progress throughout the past year. Notably, in the area of community building and trying to create new connections, I was perceived in the past as the insecure student and brushed to the side when I wasn't looking to buy a coaching package. Recently, (and it must be in the way I present myself), I have twice been regarded as an equal professional in the spiritual and birthing communities. It's very cool to witness myself stepping into myself, and equally frustrating when I witness patterns of smallness continuing to happen. I really enjoyed this article (which I found from the link in your about page). I've subscribed to your work and am excited to engage more with your writing!
I realise that most of my fear is to accept things for what they are. And most of my courage is to accept things for what they are.