The Voice That Is Behind It All
How to transform your relationship with your inner critic
Hello friend,
Over the past few months, I noticed something subtle quietly draining my energy, no matter what I did.
I was sleeping well, eating mindfully, moving my body, doing what I love. And yet, beneath it all, something was pulling me down.
That something was a voice in the background — sometimes loud, sometimes barely audible — whispering what I “should” be doing better.
I’m sure you have that voice, too.
A Story: Why is my energy dropping?
During transitions, when we’re stretching beyond our comfort zone or shedding an old identity, that voice often gets louder.
You might know it well:
“You’re not ready. You’ll fail. Look at them — you’re so far behind.”
A few weeks ago, one of my clients described the same feeling:
“I got a rejection email,” they said, “and there it was — the critical voice again: You’re not good enough. You’ll never get it. Just give up. Then I argue with it, trying to be rational. But the whole back and forth is exhausting. I wish it could just go away.”
A sigh from the client. And a light bulb for me. Here it is again.
So, we began to explore it together: what the voice said, how it felt in the body, and when it typically appeared. We even gave the critic a name. That simple act of curiosity created space between them and the voice — and almost immediately, something shifted.
By the end of the session, there was calmness in their eyes, a lightness in their voice. There was more energy, more hope.
When I saw them next, they looked lighter, more alive, more optimistic.
Every time we meet the inner critic with curiosity instead of fear, we reclaim a bit of the energy we've lost.
A Thought: We all have it, and it's okay
Every single one of us has an inner critic.
That voice that comments, compares, or corrects. Sometimes it sounds like a perfectionist, sometimes like a worrier, sometimes like a disappointed parent.
The critic’s role is ancient. It evolved to protect us from danger, rejection, or failure. It believes that if it points out our flaws first, maybe others won’t have to. But while its intention is protection, its impact is often depletion.
Constant self-criticism keeps our nervous system in a low-level stress response.
Over time, that inner tension drains mental and physical energy. Research shows that self-critical thinking activates the same stress pathways associated with chronic fatigue, burnout, and it negatively impacts academic achievement and overall well-being. (Science Direct, Science Direct)
The good news is: the critic doesn’t have to disappear for you to feel free.
You just need to change the relationship.
When you meet the voice with compassion instead of resistance, when you listen to it as a scared, protective part rather than a truth-teller, its grip softens.
And with that, energy, creativity, and confidence begin to return.
A Practice: Meet your Inner Critic
If this resonates with you, I’ve created a gentle, step-by-step guide to help you explore and soften your relationship with your inner critic.
You’ll learn how to recognise the voice, do a few experiments, and begin to respond from a calm, grounded place within you.
May you reclaim a little more energy today and carry yourself a bit lighter through the day.
With warmth,
