The Weight Blocking Your Take-off
How facing hidden feelings sets you free.
Hello friend,
I thought this would be the most joyful chapter of my life.
I’m living in a city I adore, finally working in a field I spent years envisioning, and surrounded by a community that already feels like home.
And yet… something still isn’t fully clicking.
A Story: Where did the joy go?
Last weekend, I finally made time for a long‑overdue hike. I was craving the scent of rosemary in the wind and the soft earth under my shoes. I could almost taste the freedom and nourishment of nature.
I believed that would help me find the “click” I was missing, a way to reconnect with myself. And it did, just not in the way I expected.
As soon as we set off, my mind couldn’t stop racing: “Will we be back on time? Did I apply enough sunscreen? Ah, I forgot to bring snacks. Why is he so quiet? How will I manage that project I promised to launch on Monday?”
An hour in, I realised I hadn’t enjoyed a single view, a single breath of fresh air. My body was on the trail, but my mind was miles away. Quietly, I started feeling even more frustrated with myself.
Right in the middle of that, we got off the path. When my partner asked, “Do you want to shortcut back to the main trail?” I mumbled “Sure,” barely registering the risk.
Soon we were lost in a tangle of thorny brush and sharp stones, with no shade in sight. After hours of crawling through brambles and scratches, we turned back, bruised, exhausted. We looked like we’d been carried down from a cross.
When we finally reached a familiar path, I dropped to the ground. And the tears came. Not because of the pain, and not because we missed the destination.
I cried because, for the first time in weeks, I had let myself feel fully.
All the pressure to “be happy” had locked away the rest of my emotions. But once my body hurt, once there was a reason I could understand, I finally gave myself permission to release it.
And after that, I could get up. Lighter. Ready to take off again.
A Thought: The hidden cost of avoiding what we feel
For weeks, I felt I should be happy, content, grateful, and fulfilled. So any trace of fear, grief, or sadness, I quietly pushed aside.
But the more I resisted those emotions, the further joy seemed to slip away. It was like trying to chase sunlight while keeping all the windows shut.
When we suppress difficult feelings, we’re not just avoiding discomfort; we’re narrowing our entire emotional bandwidth. Research by psychologist Iris Mauss shows that people who try to avoid negative emotions often end up experiencing less of both the negative and the positive. Over time, this emotional flattening affects our well-being. (The Psychological Health Benefits of Accepting Negative Emotions and Thoughts: Laboratory, Diary, and Longitudinal Evidence)
Other studies confirm that emotional suppression increases stress levels, clouds mental clarity, and leaves us feeling disconnected. We end up carrying a hidden weight that slows us down in ways we can’t always name. (Suppressing Emotions Can Harm You—Here's What to Do Instead)
As coach Joe Hudson puts it:
“Resisted emotions block joy. Joy is the matriarch of a family of emotions. She won’t come into your house if her children are not welcome.”
When we begin to welcome fear, grief, or anger, even for just a moment, something softens. The weight lifts, even just a little.
Joy doesn’t need to be forced. It simply finds its way back in.
A Practice: Two Experiments to Free Your Feelings
Here are two gentle practices to help you reconnect with what’s really going on beneath the surface. Use them as experiments, and see what shifts.
Experiment 1: Journaling to Uncover Hidden Emotions
Set a Timer for 5 Minutes
Find a quiet corner. Grab your journal. Take a deep breath.Write Freely
Begin with: “Right now, I’m feeling…” and let the words flow. Don’t censor or edit.Notice What’s There
When the timer ends, gently read back what you wrote. What emotions showed up? Sadness? Anger? Numbness?Feel it
Notice where the emotion is in your body and its sensory qualities (is it hot, tense, heavy, small? What is its texture? Its shape?)
Gently Reflect
Ask yourself: “What is this emotion trying to tell me?” Write down anything that comes to mind, even if it doesn’t make sense yet. Thank the emotion for the information it’s trying to give you.
Experiment 2: Emotional Inquiry (Guided Practice)
If you prefer guidance, you can try this short Emotional Inquiry meditation by Art of Accomplishment (Joe Hudson).
You can try either of these for a few minutes each day this week. Sometimes, simply making space for your feelings allows everything else to begin moving again, including your joy.
May you find the courage to feel what’s true, and may you experience the lightness that follows.
With warmth,
