I love the transparency you had while writing these sentences. And I'm very happy that you managed to unstuck the stuck.
There was a time in 2014 when I felt stuck. My problem was a Job that was giving me good stability and salary for the age I had, but I wasn't enjoying it anymore.
I knew that I wanted to do something different, but I was afraid (today I admit it) that I wouldn't be able to find something better for me.
At that time, I solved by taking a leap of faith, the support I was getting from my new partner, and the hope of a better life. ( I met my girlfriend and decided to move out of the Country).
So maybe a new post that I'd like to read is your opinion on how to take the courage of doing things, once you identify the benefits, and know that getting rid of those will lead you through a rough time.
I was reading about the archetype of the Death Mother this morning in the book "Belonging" by Toko-pa Turner. The scarcity and unworthiness that the Death Mother breeds is also a direct attack on the feminine. The Death Mother says we need status. She is always hungry and never satiated. What we do is never enough; she is never proud of us and we never fulfil her expectations. In culture, the Death Mother encourages us to climb the corporate ladder, stay in the relationship for the status it gives us, rape and pillage the earth as if resources are infinite. The Death Mother has no room for rest, enoughness, "being" over doing, sensuality, creativity or fullness.
This morning read was a struggle for me, because it put me in the drivers seat. For years, I've worked to fix everyone else, never slowing to invest the time with myself (which is very different than on myself which would include self care like a bath or massage. Spending time with myself is sitting in undistracted stillness and turning away from the constant addiction for a project or challenge or innovation).
On my journey to create community, I've known that I first need to find belonging in myself. Otherwise I will still never believe that I am enough.
How would you say your journey in belonging to yourself - how is it going?
Amanda, if I understand correctly, the belonging to ourselves is about understanding that "we are enough". It's about self-love and acceptance that we are enough as we are. Is that correct?
If that's the case, for me it's an ongoing process. As I learned, the sense of never being enough that drives achievers to always do more, or people-pleasers to meet everyone's expectations comes from our deep wounds when we were children. So we first have to heal these wounds and the self-acceptance will come. For me the process started, but haven't finished yet, and accept that I don't know when it will.
The benefits would help me to uncover the underlying need. To understand how to work with that need I would test it out with micro-actions and see where it leads. Is this need still relevant? Can I satisfy it elsewhere in a more healthy way? Can I get rid of it?
Like with that trip I was testing how will I feel without that comfort of my partner, pursuing my passion.
The core of this exercise is gaining self-awareness that can help us to get us unstuck and "Just do something". ;)
I love the transparency you had while writing these sentences. And I'm very happy that you managed to unstuck the stuck.
There was a time in 2014 when I felt stuck. My problem was a Job that was giving me good stability and salary for the age I had, but I wasn't enjoying it anymore.
I knew that I wanted to do something different, but I was afraid (today I admit it) that I wouldn't be able to find something better for me.
At that time, I solved by taking a leap of faith, the support I was getting from my new partner, and the hope of a better life. ( I met my girlfriend and decided to move out of the Country).
So maybe a new post that I'd like to read is your opinion on how to take the courage of doing things, once you identify the benefits, and know that getting rid of those will lead you through a rough time.
Thank you, Jorge for sharing.
Indeed, sometimes we get the courage to do something different because other person who we trust or admire pushes us that direction.
In my case it was different, and I'll gladly write about it. Thanks for the tip! ;)
I applaud your courage ❤️
I was reading about the archetype of the Death Mother this morning in the book "Belonging" by Toko-pa Turner. The scarcity and unworthiness that the Death Mother breeds is also a direct attack on the feminine. The Death Mother says we need status. She is always hungry and never satiated. What we do is never enough; she is never proud of us and we never fulfil her expectations. In culture, the Death Mother encourages us to climb the corporate ladder, stay in the relationship for the status it gives us, rape and pillage the earth as if resources are infinite. The Death Mother has no room for rest, enoughness, "being" over doing, sensuality, creativity or fullness.
This morning read was a struggle for me, because it put me in the drivers seat. For years, I've worked to fix everyone else, never slowing to invest the time with myself (which is very different than on myself which would include self care like a bath or massage. Spending time with myself is sitting in undistracted stillness and turning away from the constant addiction for a project or challenge or innovation).
On my journey to create community, I've known that I first need to find belonging in myself. Otherwise I will still never believe that I am enough.
How would you say your journey in belonging to yourself - how is it going?
Amanda, if I understand correctly, the belonging to ourselves is about understanding that "we are enough". It's about self-love and acceptance that we are enough as we are. Is that correct?
If that's the case, for me it's an ongoing process. As I learned, the sense of never being enough that drives achievers to always do more, or people-pleasers to meet everyone's expectations comes from our deep wounds when we were children. So we first have to heal these wounds and the self-acceptance will come. For me the process started, but haven't finished yet, and accept that I don't know when it will.
What would you do after you’ve identified the benefits?
The benefits would help me to uncover the underlying need. To understand how to work with that need I would test it out with micro-actions and see where it leads. Is this need still relevant? Can I satisfy it elsewhere in a more healthy way? Can I get rid of it?
Like with that trip I was testing how will I feel without that comfort of my partner, pursuing my passion.
The core of this exercise is gaining self-awareness that can help us to get us unstuck and "Just do something". ;)
What do you think?
Fair ;)